To grow as leader seek the unknown.
A mentor is someone a few steps ahead on your path
I am a recovering left-brainer and you may be too. It’s easy to fall into the trap thinking that all learning is a result of analysing the data that’s in front of you. In reality, learning is an output of re-ordering information upon doing mistakes. Neuroplasticity is a state of the mind that primes the brain for change. You get there by making mistakes (or observing others you care about do so!).
It is this state of something is wrong that triggers the frustration of having to re-connect the data you already have in different ways. This is what causes the frustration. So when you feel frustrated, that’s good—That’s the learning!
The best mentors I worked with always emphasised the element of “don’t give up” when that frustration hit.
3 Tips — Introspection, Identity, Habits
What is holding you back the most? You already know the answer to this. Even if you don’t like thinking about it. You may not talk about it openly. But you know what it is you have to work on. Not just professionally—you as a person.
Growth can be taxing on your focus and time, so make sure you don’t leave no room for distraction or misguided excuses.
Tip #1—Don’t get distracted with “snacks”
Only work on the largest problem and take small steps towards it. Mid-way through my leadership growth in my career what was holding me back the most was connecting with people and listening. Not just for work—in all circumstances. I liked my solitude and silence. But it came at a cost of not knowing how to best serve others. It was hard to get feedback. Even harder to accept it and work on it.
I liked to think that what was holding me back were skills, lack of experience and opportunity. While those definitely contributed to my stagnation, they were merely distractions that kept me from working on the painful bit.
Rather than taking large steps on something easy, focus on small steps towards a bigger challenge.
Your team will recognise the changes in you as your behavior adapts. This may happen overnight. This was the case for me with my mentors, especially after in-person week-long coaching trips. A comment you’ll be hearing often is “You’ve changed” or “This is different from your usual approach.” Don’t get disheartened and don’t take it negatively. You want your change and growth to be seen. And you want feedback on it.
You will notice that most interactions with your reports, peers and organisational partners are based on how they perceive you based on past experiences with them. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that’s how you need to continue presenting yourself.
Tip #2—Don’t resist the new you.
Help your body build a new comfort zone outside your old limits. Your growth will shape parts of you that will form a different identity. Your body will fight it as it gets used the new you. Have a consistent target of DO’s and DO NOT’s that you set for yourself or with the help of your mentor.
This may take many forms:
The way you run meetings
The way you listen and give feedback
Approaches on how you conduct roadmap plannings
The KPIs you measure
The way you respond to KPI changes
Your style of communication
Your calendar
Where you project your attention
Which brings us to the last point.
Tip #3—Make the new way easy, and the old ways complicated.
Your habits will take 3-6 months to kick in and become muscle memory. Until that point your state of neuroplasticity won’t differentiate the old wrong data from the new.
Adapt your personal environment, work environment, peers and your immediate team to support your growth. Communicate openly that you are trying something new, be candid about your wish to improve matters for everyone. The more you connect the solution you are trying to adopt with acts of service and problem-solving for others, the healthier your incentive structure will be to not drop your newly learned habits.
Context Matters—Understand your culture, improve on it. Don’t copy someone else’s
mentions this often on our weekly streams: CONTEXT is everything. What works for google will definitely not work for you. Processes that netflix needs you probably don’t. That’s not to say you can’t learn from mentors from those companies.But you need to put your own culture first. Instead of rejecting it focus on understanding the context under which you operate.
What is the biggest obstacle right now?
How can we improve on it this week?
How can my mentor help with this?
How did we end up there?
Why are things the way they are? What is the root cause?
What incentives accidentally feed into the root cause problem?
At the level of leadership and management, most improvements will be qualitative in nature. Be very careful when gauging the success of any change or transformation with quantitative metrics. Introduce surveys, talk to your team. When in doubt, I like to refer the Conflux’s delivery assessment surveys. These surveys are the work of Matthew Skelton, the author of Team Topologies.
What is it you are trying to improve upon? Are you happy with the level of service you are providing to your business and teams right now?
Great article about learning and resistance. I am a big fan of it, as it makes people aware of distractions and inner resistance. It's worth reading for everyone who likes to grow over time, and for those who wants to understand the challenges that come with inner resistance.